Pants are so lame, so we’re giving them the morning off.
In other news, I survived surgery and I’m healing up nicely. I wish I could say I did the whole ride fearlessly and optimistically, but, at least half the time, I was afraid and unable to avoid thoughts of what could go wrong. If there is one thing that can break my typical positive outlook, it is the thought of losing my family.
Luckily, I had an army of positive energy behind me, and it more than compensated for my fears. Thank you to all of you. Your words made a huge and pleasant impact on my experience, as always.
Even more important to me, however, was that I had the reassurance that Juanique was on the ride with me, gracefully carrying an extraordinary burden that she didn’t ask for. Even without a single word of encouragement from another human being, I am confident in my path forward in life because she is a part of it. No one should ever be asked to do what she has had to do in the last year, but there isn’t another person I’d trust more to do it.
We should be getting the lab results back on Friday to help us determine what our next steps will be. While it’s far from a guarantee, and we’ll never know for sure, there is a chance that I am cancer free right this moment. That’s a thought worth obsessing over, I think.
I didn’t make a proper announcement when she was born, so I apologize for the late news:
Introducing Satori Deva Roney. Born 12 March at 1:07 am. 5 lbs 11 oz, 20.5 inches long. We’ve decided to keep her. Now a little info on the name:
As most of you know, Juanique and I are into unique names. We also like names that are aspirational, sort of like built in role models for our children. Satori perfectly meets both criteria. It is a Zen Buddhist word meaning “enlightenment,” “awakening,” or “seeing one’s true nature.” With any luck it will serve Satori as a continuing call back to her true nature, which is basic goodness.
Deva is a Buddhist and Hindu word meaning “a god or divine being,” once again intended to keep Satori’s divine nature at the forefront of her self-image. It’s fair to say that she is living up to her name perfectly so far.
One of the benefits of her birth so far has been the halo of calm it has created in our lives. We even came close to forgetting about the cancer a few times. Preparing for tomorrow’s surgery has been like being awoken from the best dream. It’s a little bit painful, but we’ve got the advantage of bringing the best part of the dream with us into the next chapter of our lives. I guess I’m ready now.
I took a sort of social media break for a while when Satori was born, but I’m once again craving some form of community, so I’m back. In less than 12 hours I’ll be in surgery getting my rectum removed (hopefully along with the tumor), so please consider setting aside some good feels for me and my family over the next 24 hours. I’ll be taking up donations in the form of prayers, thoughts, vibes, and long-distance high fives if you are feeling so generous. In return you get to gaze at my loving mustachioed face for as long as you want.
“The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”
This is why I love you all so much. Your love, support, and contact us literally increasing my odds of becoming cancer free and living a full life. There is absolutely nothing more deserving of our full attention and effort than developing and nurturing deep relationships.
Various articles about this story are flying at me today. Getting diagnosed with rectal cancer was a shock to me, and I know it was a shock to many of you. Colorectal cancer isn’t exactly at epidemic levels for the young generations, but there is a concerning trend that I think warrants broad attention. It isn’t genetic most of the time, so our lifestyle is key. Eat your vegetables, exercise, and be kind to yourself! Start today!
Round 3 of chemo today–maybe. I had an MRI yesterday morning and we may move up the surgery to remove the tumor, depending on the results. My oncologist is reviewing the scan as we speak. I’ll be honest, I’m a bit more scared than usual. It’s not a relaxing experience to be waiting for news of this sort.
There are two things keeping me sane and breathing right now: amazing people and amazing music. So if anyone is around online right now, I would love to hear from you about your favorite music and why you love it. Inspire me, comfort me, distract me! Thanks, friends.